Looking back, we reflect on the TV offerings of the recent year, a handful of series stand out not for their brilliance, but for their spectacular shortcomings. Ranging from awkward spin-offs to confusingly bad docuseries, here are the programmes that left us utterly bewildered or just reaching for the remote.
How to start with this love/hate spin-off? Burdened with woeful scripts, cringe-inducing arcs (justice for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the series fought to find its footing. Briefly, as the final series began, it seemed as if it had at last hit its stride. Then arrived an episode centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the creator declared this would be the final season. It concluded on a low point; the lingering shot of Miranda’s loo full of poo was just way too on-the-nose. Still, viewers undeniably had a hoot dissecting every single “what on earth?” moment. And as Carrie – once again single – twirled around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't let out a little sob?
‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? The answer is a resounding no.’
But that was almost the least of this drama's issues. The subject of a exceedingly uncommon no-star review, it was difficult to know where to start listing the flaws. The hilariously wooden writing? The mind-numbing glorification of affluence and materialism? The almost deliberate parade of tropes? Acting so poor they felt borderline spiteful? Let’s just say “all of the above” and never speak of this series again. Except, a new season has been commissioned, so we’re probably going to have to.
Considering the restraining orders, domestic violence claims and fatherly failures, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not that you’d truly have gleaned it from this multi-part documentary which smirked its way at Sheen’s various episodes of self-destructive excess while struggling to tell us anything we didn’t already know. Rather, it felt as if this volatile personality was being pandered to, so any sympathy this show might evoke should be saved for the people who have had to endure proximity with this charismatic but flippant egotist.
Naturally we knew it was ridiculous from the get-go: a drama about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or destroy all of humanity. We persevered out of pure admiration for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One scarcely cared when his character died, and the other ended up hacking Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. Talk about giving up the ghost.
Shady figures meeting in deserted boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its crime drama back.
Actually, that is harsh on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many look a bit old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t suffer the ignominy of having to accommodate unconvincing dialects. But there were many other issues. Primarily that it was just profoundly dull; a conflict over drug-selling territory between various cockney rogues which felt rather simplistic.
Given the degree to which she provokes the ire of the nation’s ostentatiously angry commentators, it’s temptingly easy to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s various forays into quaint lifestyle as deliberate statements. But then you view them and are compelled to concede that in this case, they may have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle magazine come to life; a meme for wine o’clock with ideas of grandeur; a procession of snoozing dogs, buzzing beehives, sentimental platitudes and forgettable crafting “tips” you’ll forget instantly. All underpinned by immense, mostly undeserved wealth. Ugh.
There are obviously interesting things to be discussed about regarding Victoria Beckham and her journey with career, self-image, self-acceptance. But for some reason, this documentary series opted not to explore them. Rather, the viewing was akin to consuming a marketing catalogue. She obviously has good reason to resent what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But unfortunately, she failed to do herself any favours with this guarded letdown of a series.
It had the potential to be the next big hit – except even more extravagant, with a glamorous star as a deceased benefactor and a well-known personality overseeing her estate. What more could you want? As contestants competed, there was plenty of betrayal and arguing. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s still too complicated to explain what precisely was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw brief appearances of the star via filmed videos. The show ended up reeking of a production that was trying way too hard to emulate something way beyond it.
How do you follow a show that captured a generation? The expectation was enormous for this starry romcom about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who arrives in London with a shattered romance. The lead actress took her biggest role by the horns and was joyous to watch, reveling in Jane Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very glossy and, ironically, was insufficient. Plus, the abundance of celebrity cameos involved felt icky.
Not even good enough to be ‘uneven’.
Given the smart inclusion of gifted emerging comics, hopes were high. But sadly, most of it didn’t land. A recurring sketch was a single joke stretched to a dry pulp but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a well-known ranting mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, meanwhile, simply inspired the thought that they should probably have remained in there a bit longer.
This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively presented the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an interesting drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The material needed to be treated with care. Rather, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right voice, lurching from oddly jaunty, slightly mannered farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Twisted? Arguably. A total mess? Very much so.
We love the star … but did we believe him playing the most brilliant maths genius since, a man so intelligent he’s on the verge of a breakthrough that could destabilise society? No! This globe-trotting thriller about secret services spying on – and eliminating – academics frankly got more farcical by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.
This uncritical portrait followed the content creator notorious for explicit exploits as she prepared for her biggest feat yet. What on earth would possess her? What we craved was far greater examination of her actual psyche, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have interviewed the legendary mum who appeared to drag her son out of the queue. What we got was disturbing imagery and absolutely no interrogation of her notoriety whatsoever. And to think, the documentary-maker has a teenage daughter too.
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